The Things You Want To See
by Animegirl1129
Summary: JaSpin. The day after Jason ends it, he gets mad...


The Things You Want To See

_***I have no clue where this came from. Only that I was not privy to the details of what was really happening until I was about halfway through it. Those details? Look out for 'em. They're tricky things. Be warned. On the dark side. Boys aren't mine. Um, enjoy?*  
**_

* * *

The day Jason ends their… whatever it is this thing between them is, Spinelli doesn't speak. He can't speak. He can't react. Because he can't figure out what in the world he did to cause this. Granted, Jason never actually says the words, or anything, but Jason hasn't spoken to him in two days and he's been packing up Spinelli's things without a word of explanation. So, he locks himself in the pink room – where else can he go? – and stares aimlessly at the walls as if he'll somehow divine the answers from them.

He calls Maxie, who… doesn't understand at all. She tells him he should have known better than to fall for a heartless mobster. It would only get him hurt in the end, she says, and that certainly doesn't help Spinelli's state of total denial. This… this can't be happening! Just three days ago they'd been fine! 'I love you's and sleeping together and… fine. But, this… was unexpected.

When Jason goes out for a midnight bike ride that night, Spinelli raids the liquor cabinet and ends up smashed out of his skull on a bottle of vodka. He almost forgets why he's drinking in the first place.

Jason doesn't comment when he comes home to find Spinelli passed out on the couch, just walks passed and acts as if Spinelli's not even there.

The day after Jason ends it, he gets mad. Very mad and very vocal in his madness. He catches Stone Cold coming downstairs and –despite his brutal hangover – let's go of everything. He fights, throws punches, even, he yells and screams, but Jason just sits there and takes it. That makes Spinelli fight it more.

Jason just sits there and lets Spinelli rail against him, eventually, when Spinelli's hoarse and exhausted, he just up and leaves, leaving Spinelli behind and ignoring the muttered inquiries of 'Why?' and 'How could you do this to me, Stone Cold?'

Later, it's Jason who's drunk and angry. The mobster comes home and starts on a Sonny worthy rampage. The laptop that had been sitting on the desk by the door ends up in pieces, as does the computer chair, the mirror on the wall, several glasses, and anything else in range.

Spinelli watches that breakdown from the stairway. If Jason is so upset, why the hell did he end this?

The day after the day after Jason breaks up with him, he's waiting. He sits by the door so that Jason can't leave without him noticing. The second Jason comes downstairs, he's talking, begging for an answer. Why, if Jason is taking it so hard, won't he answer the goddamned question?

There's still no answer. Spinelli grabs Jason's arm as he tries to slip out the door, but Jason just shrugs him off, pulls away, and heads out the door. Spinelli tries to follow him, but Jason levels him with some sort of vacant glare, so he decides to be stealthy instead.

Jason goes to Jake's. Sits at the bar, ignoring Coleman and everyone. Just drinks and drinks and… snaps a pool cue in half. He gets in a fight with the guy who'd been using said pool cue and is inevitably thrown out. All the while, Spinelli is hidden away at a corner table, watching.

'What the hell did I do?' Spinelli hears him ask once he follows Jason outside. He punches a brick wall and goes home with Spinelli on his tail.

The day after the day after the day after the day that Jason calls their strange relationship off, Spinelli doesn't do anything. He doesn't have to. Because Jason doesn't do anything.

He still wants to know what the hell is going on in this insane situation, but Jason doesn't leave his room until close to noon – an unheard of event in the Morgan routine – and he looks terrible when he does emerge.

Spinelli follows him back to their – Jason's – room and watches in confusion as Jason lays down and goes back to sleep. He's fairly certain that the older man hasn't slept this much in… ever. There's a whiskey bottle on the nightstand – another surprising facet of whatever it is that's going on.

'I never wanted this to happen, Spinelli,' Jason says, staring at the ceiling.

Spinelli would almost swear he sees tears before Jason rolls over again.

The day after the day after the day after the day after the day that Jason breaks up with him (that's day five, for those of you keeping score), something changes.

Spinelli, once again sitting in the pink room, is surprised to hear the door creak open. Jason enters, crosses the room and sits down on the bed as if they haven't been at war for the last week.

'I… I'm sorry, Spinelli. This never, ever should have happened.'

Spinelli is about to once again question what brought all of this on, ready to totally forgive Jason for whatever the hell this was just as long as he explains it, but Jason keeps talking.

'Not to you. I knew you were in danger… being with me, but I always thought it would be someone involved in the mob, that I could protect you from that.' This time, Spinelli is sure he's crying, and that's more terrifying than the words that don't make sense. 'But, damn it, a car crash? I'm sorry…'

He's… What? Spinelli stares, and then he grabs for Jason, tries to demand answers from him, but he gets nothing. And then it makes sense. Jason isn't not talking to him. He can't talk to him. He's not avoiding him, he can't see him. It explained everything – the drinking, the packing, the fighting. He's… dead.

'You and Maxie never should have been out looking for me. This is all my fault. God, I'm sorry, Spinelli.' Jason continues, oblivious to his grasshopper's invisible presence.

Maxie…? He remembers… not much. He kind of recalls being in a car, remembers having to tell Jason about some activity on the mob front – nothing terribly important, but he liked to keep Jason up to speed – and Maxie had been visiting him when he'd found it, and…

She had to be dead, too. He'd talked to her. It was the only thing that made sense.

But, his attention finds its way back to Jason again. This time he rests a hand on his Stone Cold's shoulder and tries to maybe show Jason that he's there. He's still here.

'And I loved you so much, Spinelli.'


End file.
